For The Love Of Milky Bars: Make Quality Choices

Quality ChoicesHow many times have you said “I can’t do X, because Y won’t allow me to”?

X could be absolutely anything, like volunteer, start a part-time business, take 3 weeks leave off at once, ask for the salary increase you really want, negotiate on the terms you’d rather than the other parties etc.

Y could be absolutely anything, like time, money, skills, experience, my family, my country, my culture, my company, energy, health etc.

Though the gist is that you feel there is only one option or course of action because of something else.

Or has there been a situation in your workplace where you thought “that concept / strategy / task / project / person won’t work because of ….?”

And that’s that. That is where you stop. Nothing than convince or get past you.  The end. Thanks for playing.


Basically, when you choose to think this way, “you” choose to cap opportunity.


You choose to accept that your choices are limited.

You choose to become less imaginative and less creative.

You choose to create a “ring-fence of stuckness” or “ring-fence anti-choice”.

It is a choice you make, that you are responsible for.

No one else makes it for you or is to blame.


You only see what is ‘not possible’.

As your focus is narrow you only experience what is ‘not possible’.

Then you create a habit of ‘not possible’ thinking and experiences.

Then you accept this way of life  as a given.


If this ‘not possible’ thinking is working for you, and when I mean working for you, I mean bringing you joy, opportunity’s, growth, variety, connection, respect, confidence and happiness, and the results you actually want, then great.

Though I am going to predict, based on my career coaching practice and the success of my clients, along with years of management and leadership experience, that this isn’t.






In the week I penned this article, this ‘not possible thinking’ had the potential to stop the following totally achievable and fabulous goals.


From: “I want to start a new business, but I don’t know what I would sell”.

To: “I use my own program already, which has these steps, has had these results and there are other teams and firms like mine who would want this too. In fact, now that I think of it, B company have said they want it already. OMG – that is amazing. Is it really that simple?” Yes.

Timeframe: Under 10 minutes


From: “I want certainty of the terms for a new job, but I’m scared to ask for what I really want as I risk loosing this opportunity”.

To: “I actually have 3 separate opportunities ahead of me. My values and goals require me to have 1, 2, 3 absolute requirements for me to want to work for any organization. I will ask specific open questions to establish what is possible and make an assessment based on those answers. Wow – again you’ve challenged my thinking again”.  Yep.

Timeframe: Under 45 minutes


From: “We can’t travel to this event as it costs too much and my partner is already under a lot of stress with his business”

To: “I will tweak our lifestyle and save money from our existing income each week. I will get some additional work to contribute to the costs. We will stay with someone and borrow a car instead of staying in a hotel and hiring a car. Thanks”. My pleasure.

Timeframe: Under 30 minutes.


Do you need a Coach to help you do this? Maybe. If time is of the essence.  If you have been flip-flopping for sometime.  If you have been getting mediocre results. If you have the self-awareness that what you’ve done previously hasn’t really worked and you’ve started making the same choices again. (And besides, we have some cool tools, questions and mind tricks that allow us to do this stuff rapidly.)


Can you do it yourself? Absolutely. How? Follow these four steps.

Step 1: Challenge yourself. Ask ‘Imagine this is possible. How could it be done?”

Step 2:  Ask “What about….What if….What about… What if…..” and explore options.

Step 3: Once done, choose “a” path that gets the outcome you want.

Step 4: If that path doesn’t work out, tweak it, yet keep your eye on the prize.


There is always a solution. Always.  

Especially if you want to stop wasting time, energy, money and self esteem.

And there are also Milky Bars.

Grab some and be your best self,


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